Feb 2, 2011

WTF Wednesday: Bad Breath

This week, WTF Wednesday is brought to you on behalf of people with bad breath.
Now I know, there are some conditions that give people bad breath.
If you have a medical issue, please jump ahead to the section titled "Stipulations".
 If you don't have a medical issue but you have bad breath and you know it, and actively try not to offend people with your breath, you too can jump ahead to the section titled "Stipulations".

Now. If you have bad breath and don't know it, how do you find out?
Click "READ MORE" to find out...

 Top 5 ways to know if your breath is FUNKY:
  1. When you go to give someone a kiss, they manage to find everything else to do BUT kiss you... Chances are, you might have funky breath.
  2. If you ever ask someone for a sip of their drink and they swallow it all and say "sorry didn't hear you" or say "you can have it"... Chances are, you might have funky breath.
  3. If you ask someone "can you smell my breath and tell me if I need a mint?" and they respond by running in the opposite direction screaming and tugging at their hair... Chances are, you might have funky breath.
  4. If everytime you speak in a confined area (i.e car, bedroom etc.) and people ask "did someone just fart?"... Chances are, you might have funky breath
  5. If you've ever tried to talk to a plant and it wilted right before your eyes... Chances are, you might have funky breath.
If you answered "YES" to any of these questions, and they've happened on more than one occasion, you have a serious case of the funk.

Please don't become one of the people I run away from.
Un-needed bad breath drives me INSANE!
It literally hurts my stomach.
I'm not kidding.

Especially men. I can't tell you jow many times a guys has LOOKED good but opened his mouth and made ME want to drop dead!

Here are the "Stipulations".
You must swear to obide by these rules or face SERIOUS ridicule behind your back from family and friends... And I swear, they are ridiculing you.
  1. You will promise to take any mint, gum, or breath freshener offered to you. Chances are, if they're offering, and insisting, you need it.
  2. You will follow these codes of conduct when buying breath freshner: no fruit flavored and if it doesn't burn it doest work!
  3. Brush your tongue! It is a vital part of maintaining fresh breath. Without it, all your efforts will forever be in vein.
  4. Never let your mouth go dry. Aside from the fact the you'll sound like a frog, the bacteria in your mouth will have a FIELD day. Drink drink drink!
  5.  If you even think your breath is kickin' GRAB SOME ORBIT!



Alright folks. That was your weekly edition of "WTF Wednesday". Feel free to leave your thoughts and suggestions to our helpless bad breath comrades!

~Confessor

*Anything said in any WTF Wednesday post I do mean, however, they are exaggerated for entertainment purposes :-) Live. Love. LAUGH.

5 comments:

  1. lmfao ass-mouth is the worst! I would rather toss a fat's man's salad like a professional chef than smell funky mouth!

    ReplyDelete
  2. HAhahahahahah...... This is the first time I am reading your wtf wednesdays and they are hilarious. :)

    Look forward to hearing from you

    Love

    Tashrin - A Toronto based personal style blog

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love your wtf wednesday...and omg have I met people with this case...its like slowly feeling your nose is passing out..horrible!

    xx
    Andy

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG this ish is hilarious. I love WTF Wednesdays. visit me soon

    xoxo Monroe

    Fashion Steele NYC

    ReplyDelete
  5. LMAO! This was funny! I agree, I can't stand people with bad breath! Why can't you smell that?

    ReplyDelete

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